About Me

Currently having just finished my 37th lap around the sun, I am a full time husband, father, and cubical farm dweller. I was born in Lexington, KY and lived in the small town of Paris until I was 5, when my parents forcefully relocated me to the 3rd level of hell, more commonly known as Phoenix, AZ. I spent time going back and forth between my small town roots and my big city upbringing up until about the time I started high school. After high school I did the local community college circuit and even once attempted to go to a full fledged university for a semester. Unfortunately a battle with depression, as well as a torrid love affair with recreational drugs, led to a less than stellar GPA which forced me back to the minor leagues of higher education. Immediately upon my return home I entered into a tumultuous, drug fueled sexcapade that led to the most wonderful mistake of my life, or as I commonly refer to her, my elder spawn. I spent the better part of my 20's being a single dad, manwhoring (ok, that is mostly in my head), bong pulling, and working in the aforementioned cube farms, all the while battling in vain against the system to obtain custody of my spawn. Somewhere in 2005 I met my lovely wife, fell in love, got engaged and we eventually wed in the fall of 2007. We wasted no time consummating our nuptials and less than a month after our first anniversary we welcomed into the world our first daughter together, or my second spawn as you may see me refer to her. Since that time I have devoted my time to systematically trying to drive my wife to the edge of sanity, trying to play guitar and bass, alienating as many people as I can, and being a boob aficionado. That, in a nutshell, is the life that has led to the mind of the person that pens this page.