8496

Good morning my fellow humanoids. I hope you are all enjoying the start to a long, relaxing weekend. I do apologize for not posting yesterday, it was extremely busy. That's the funny thing about long weekends, they are usually bookmarked by utter chaos. It's not like there is any less work to do, you just have less time to do it in. The day before is usually a mad scramble to get as much in as possible and the day after is usually filled with fixing all the mistakes you made trying to cram everything in before you left. I hope most of you are staying home, because travelling anywhere on these long weekends makes things even worse. First there is the traffic getting in/out of town. Then there are the crowds because everyone is on vacation at the same time. Long weekends really are a no win situation when you think about it. Sadly enough, for a majority of us these long weekends are the only time we really get any extra time off. Sure, most of us have vacation days, or as the corporate world is going PTO days. My company no longer offers sick and vacation days. We strictly have PTO days, which can be used as sick or vacation, no distinction between the two. I don't mind it. Having kids it's nice to know you have the time off to take if they get sick. I remember when I my oldest daughter was little there were times if I needed to take off to tend to her I was shit out of luck as far as getting paid went because the company I worked for stuck to a strict sick day policy. You couldn't use vacation days unless they were planned. Pretty stupid in my eyes. I mean, you offer the days, the employee should be able to use them at their discretion so long as it doesn't interrupt the flow of business. In addition, the best way to retain the best employees is by keeping them happy. All of the top companies know that. Technology has made the world a much smaller place and the large corporations need to understand they don't dictate all of the terms anymore. Employees can now work remotely and travel faster, they are no longer at the whim of whatever corporation or business is local. The control has shifted in a way. Of course, there is a yang to that yin in that other employees are just as capable of taking your place. There has to be a balance in the employee/employer relationship and the companies that thrive recognize that. Hopefully, if you have to work, you get to work for one of the companies that recognizes this.

Well folks, I do believe I have taken up enough of your time for a Saturday morning (at least here in Phoenix it's still technically morning). I'm going to go start my staycation by throwing in a load of laundry and possibly having a bowl of cereal. I'm really not sure, I'm loving the peace and quiet in the house right now and I don't know if I want to make too much noise while my youngest is still asleep. So while I try to decide how to spend my day, I hope you are making the most of yours. Again as always, I appreciate you spending your time reading my mind. Have a great day.

8544

What a day. I was busy as all get out at work, then on the way home my transmission decided to die.  Not my finest day to say the least. But, now I'm home resigned to my chambers, watching the news on a TV suspended from my wall, and writing a blog post from my cell phone. I love technology. Not only does it make life easier, it allows us to do things unimaginable to the generation prior to us when they were our age.  I remember coming home one day when I was five. I climbed down the steps of the bus, ran up the front stairs, stepped through the screen door and there was a strange man blocking the TV. I remember the horror when I thought I was going to be denied seeing Scooby Doo. Turns out this was the cable man and he was not hindering my afternoon delight, he was revolutionizing my life. Now after school, Scooby Doo works come in more clear and vivid than I ever thought imaginable. Flash forward to today and my daughter, who is a year younger than I was when I first experienced a technological revolution, watches any cartoon, video, movie, etc. she wants on a piece, of metal not a whole lot thicker than aluminum foil, with a piece of glass attached. I never on my wildest dreams would have considered that a reality at her age and here it is as common to her and her daily life, as is juice or Barbie. It is absolutely amazing that something like this exists. In fact I was reflecting the other day about how far we have come in just the past 10 years.  See, my daughters are 10 years apart. When my older one was my other daughter's age, we were constantly playing the same Frosty The Snowman on a VCR on the 19" TV that I had as the "big" TV in my living room. Today my four year old watches digital streaming media of pretty much whatever she can dream up, on a 47" TV ( that is considered average size by today's standards and weighs far less than that old 19" unit). She is only 10 younger and has pretty much missed the entire span of time where DVDs and Blu-Ray where the dominant technologies. I can't begin to think what will be common in the next 10 years (assuming we survive that long) and what will be obsolete.  I'm off kiddos, to enjoy all of the science fiction the surrounds me. Remind me to tell you why this could be the worst thing to ever happen to society at another time.

8568

So here I am, sitting in my new desk.  No view, just walls.  I’m disappointed, but not upset.  There was a huge furor over this move, so much so that the operations manager sent an email out telling everyone to calm down.  I guess people are resistant to change.  I guess they don’t realize life is change.  We all have highs and lows.  The greater the high, the greater the low.  I almost feel bad for people that have a solid life of consistency; they don’t know the exhilaration of the highs.  Granted, they don’t know the despair of the lows, but it’s the experience of the two that make you appreciative of the other end of the spectrum.  Think of amusement park rides, which ones are more fun?  The ones with the ups and downs, or the flat boring ride?  This correlates to my previous post about the rapids while tubing.   See how life intertwines? 
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I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that today is the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have A Dream” speech.  Funny enough, the original speech didn’t include the dream parts, he was responding to a person in the crowd that told him to tell everyone about his dream, and thus began his sermon on equality.  While we reflect upon this great moment in time, we must also consider the fact we are potentially standing on the door step of the next Great War as well.  This goes back to my post on yin-yang.  There must be equality and with the remembrance of great hope we are faced with great despair.  Enough of my rambling for the day, enjoy yourselves. 

8592

I’m really trying to avoid politics in my blog, but given the current status of the world, it’s pretty hard. The atrocities occurring in Syria on a human scale dictate the need for some intervention, unfortunately the globe is not in consensus on this and any humanitarian action taken to save the masses being slaughtered will be met defiantly.  The United States is again flaunting its status as World Police and threatening an attack on Syrian forces. Russia, who is friendly with the current Syrian regime, is strongly opposed to any intervention. Tensions are already strained between the US and Russia over the Snowden incident and the Syrian situation isn’t helping.  Russia has threatened retribution for interference but the US is not backing down.  There was a time when the majority of the US would support this action, but the world is a different place now.  Wars are no longer isolated to distant theaters.  Modern weaponry makes the entire globe a battlefield and anybody, at any moment is a viable target.  A US strike doesn’t just put soldiers in harm’s way; it puts the entire nation in harm’s way. Russia alone poses the ability to strike US soil if provoked.   Add in a potential nuclear Iran who would side with Russian and Syria in a conflict and that increases the likelihood of US assets being targeted.  Granted the US has the support of The UK and France in this situation, but is that enough given today’s cache of global weaponry?  My concern would extend past all of this and include North Korea, who, given an already spread thin US military presence across the globe, could act as a rogue agent and attack. No doubt that would lead to US retribution and any attack against North Korea would draw in China. Throw in a few other countries around the world taking sides and we are on the door step of the next global war; one that would have the ability to affect civilians globally.  Now I really, really hope I’m suffering from extreme paranoia in this instance, but I fear too many people are taking this situation too lightly.  Here’s hoping I’m wrong, but are you prepared if I’m right? 

8616

What a busy day. I tend to prefer a busy day at work; it makes the time fly by.  Of course, it also lends no time to fit in other projects, such as maintaining my blog.  Today I find myself uninspired.  That’s ok though.  Sometimes we need those days when we just do without having time to think.  It helps us appreciate the other times when we can be alone with our thoughts.  It also concerns me that I will lack subject matter to fill up a year’s worth of blogging.  So, with that in mind I ask that if there is ever a subject that you would like to get my twisted perspective on, please contact me and I will be more than happy to include that as blog topic.  After all, it’s those we surround ourselves with that bring in fresh ideas and new perspectives, it those around us that help us think.  That might be one reason why relationships run their course.  If there is no stimulation, what exactly is it that dictates you maintain contact with another person?  If everything was supposed to remain status quo all the time people would never complain about getting in a rut.  Perhaps this is why the old adage that opposites attract rings true.  I already live with myself; I don’t want to live with a clone.  I need friction, tension, something different than myself to keep me interested and moving forward.  I like a good debate, I don’t want my partner to be a “yes man” to all my thoughts and notions. That’s not to say I want extreme violence and turbulence, but I think a little “drama” is healthy.  Here in Arizona one of the ways to cool off in the summer is to go tubing down the Salt River.  For the most part you are strapped to a rubber inner tube for 6 hours floating down a serene river, but there are a few rapids, and those are the exciting part. The bumpy, turbulent part of the ride is the most thrilling.  Until tomorrow, here’s hoping you hit a few rapids during your ride.

8664

Just a quick check in as I have devoted most of the day to football. I love football, it's far more cerebral than most people think. The strategy of the game is far superior to any other sport, partly because there is a reset between every play. As this is just a check in I'm not going to get deep into the finer points. I hope you are all enjoying your weekend, and to all my other football fans, who you got?

8688

I always wonder what people look like without their disguises on. Every day we wake up, put on our costumes, and go out into the world to play the character version of ourselves we have crafted through life experiences. Sure there are a few souls out there that you can take at face value, but they are the exception rather than the norm. The rest of us are portraying some idealized version of what we want others to see. Do you really think the person on the other side of your cubicle is as one dimensional as you assume them to be? There could be a tattooed, pierced freak right next to you and you don’t know it. The silent, head down co-worker could be avoiding eye contact because they are afraid their glance might give away an S&M fetish they are hiding. The woman who never wears a skirt, only pants, could be keeping a prosthetic limb from you. The point is, you never really know others because we don’t let people know us.
Whether you are hiding emotional scars, or physical ones, the majority never break character and strip off their costumes to allow others to see their true selves. I blame a lot of this on the religious control that has been exerted onto the masses for centuries. Everyone has been conditioned to conform, to ensure their place in the afterlife. I’m not condoning anyone for their spiritual beliefs, but I think too often the institutions of religion don’t accept the individual, rather they want conformity, a clone of what they interpret the ideal self to be.
The most common armor I encounter is the façade of indifference or nonchalance. It has been my experience this is usually disguising vulnerability. Nobody wants to seem weak, but I don’t see vulnerability as a weakness. If you can admit to it, you are already stronger than those in denial. The truth is, the real stories are far more interesting than the ones we tell others. I think this also explains why there was such a fascination with reality TV. At first, you got to see moments of real people. Unfortunately, Hollywood bastardized it by giving every train wreck that wanted one their own show and reality stopped being real. Everyone played to the cameras.
The few people I have had the pleasure of seeing without their costumes on are far more beautiful to me than the most glamorous tale Hollywood could visualize. The things we fear most about ourselves are the ones that make us who we really are. Our imperfections and differences tell the stories that make us all unique. If we didn’t have them, we’d all essentially be the same person. The world would be like Stepford Wives and that would truly be boring. Now I’m not saying we all need to walk around naked, although I do admire the female body in its most natural state, but don’t’ be afraid to unrobe (metaphorically) and let others see who you truly are. It is only when we can connect as our true selves that we make valid connections with others.

P.S.: I really have every intention of continue to blog daily. That being said, sometimes the weekend gets away from me. So if I don’t post over the weekend I apologize ahead of time. Everybody enjoy yourselves and keep the feedback coming. I truly appreciate it.

8712

For some reason today I really associate with the concept of yin-yang.  I feel like the wheel, constantly spinning from light to dark.  Momentarily I feel like times are dark, but light is out there.  I’m never completely without sense that light will come, but a sense of despair certainly is in control. Yesterday was more serene, but with a concern of what darkness lies ahead.  The positive of it all is I’m in a constant state of change and I’m not worried about stagnation. The yang to that yin is I worry that I’m like a whirlpool, destined to spin in one space constantly but never moving forward.   To take it further though, I constantly feel like I’m on one side of the whirlpool while everyone else is on the other side.  It feels like our spinning is keeping us out of reach and that without the ability to connect that we are destined to spend forever in the whirlpool.  The yin tells me though that while currently I’m alone in my life’s whirlpool, we all spin at different speeds and eventually a connection, or reconnection, will be made and the whirlpool will eventually be overcome.  The next quandary comes when I have to decide if I want to fight now, struggle to find a way out of the whirlpool and hope that when the connection comes along that, that is the final factor that will get me out, or do I just let go, bide my time, conserve myself and wait for the connection to be made and then move out of the circle.  I can see validity in either argument.  But then another question crosses my mind: am I supposed to hold out for that connection or do I have to accept that maybe I need to forge ahead alone?  What if I wait too long and miss my opportunity or what if everyone else gets out and I am left alone to spin forever?  I suppose if we knew all the answers to all of the outcomes there would be no point in anything.  Part of the experience is learning and growing and if we already have the answers, why try?  To harken back to the algebra class that I swore I’d never use, the unknown variable is key.  For now I’ll continue to spin, enjoying the rush of being swept around in a circle, never becoming stagnant, biding my time until it’s time to climb out of the water and go forth, where ever that path on land may lead. 

8736

I’m fortunate enough to have a great view from the 11th floor.  One thing that continually amazes me is how green Phoenix is when you look at it from an elevated point of view.  There are so many trees that it almost appears tropical save for the mountains rising like islands out of a green sea.  It doesn’t seem as lush from ground level, but from here I see green all the way to Camelback mountain (I have a view looking ENE towards Scottsdale and Paradise Valley from mid-town). To be honest, lately I feel most at peace when glancing out the window from my office.  Down below life seems so drab.  The brown landscape is somewhat depressing. While exotic in its own right, especially to those that aren’t used to it, I find the desert barren and lackluster.  Maybe it’s the heat.  I rather enjoy the spring and fall here as far as the weather goes, and quite honestly I don’t remember a recent winter where a sweatshirt didn’t suffice to keep me comfortable outside, but the monotony of another long, drawn out summer surrounded by parched land is taking its toll on me.  I think perhaps it is taking its toll on the populous as a whole.  Everyone here seems so one dimensional., so baked into their being and stagnant.  However from my perch, I see…change.   I see where an oasis has been created.  I see that we don’t have to accept things as they are and that existence can be manipulated.   I also think that maybe life is the same way.  Maybe I need to step back and view it from a different perspective in order to notice it isn’t as drab as the surface up close suggests.  Perhaps it’s the want to experience different things that makes my situation seem so mundane.  I know we are given a brief time on this ride, and I want to see and experience as many facets of life as I can, not be anchored to one location, one way of life.  Alas, our species doesn’t seem to agree.  We are no longer nomadic in our existence.  We plant ourselves and grow roots.  I struggle with this as well.  I like having a “home base,” a place to establish my collection of trinkets and possessions collected over time.  In fact, I am feeling somewhat contradictory as I hate having my routine affected.  It disturbs my day.  I’m a creature of habit.  If I don’t get up, shower, eat breakfast, and drive to work in that order my day is filled with angst, it just isn’t right.   But I’m not referring to a daily routine here so much as a life routine. I get a daily routine.   Life routines however, I’m at odds with. I simply don’t understand how one can live one way and at least not want to experience something different.  Even if it’s as minute a change as climate, the experience of something different than the norm has to be exhilarating on some level.   As my thoughts wander, and my job beckons, I will leave any further ramblings until next time.

8760

I think I’ve lost my passion for life. I don’t know that I ever really had one, but I know now I completely lack any resemblance of having any. I’m not happy with my position in life financially, socially, emotionally. I know these are all things only I can change, and I accept that. I’m not looking for somebody to change my being and morph into something I didn’t create, I’m looking for a spark so that I can ignite the fire that is my being. The only problem is, I don’t know what that is. I’ve been reflecting for a while now on the old adage of “what would you do if you didn’t have to do anything, and that will tell you what you should do” and I can’t come up with anything. There are lots of little things I enjoy to an extent, but nothing I’m passionate about. Music has always been the closest thing to a passion I’ve had, but I really don’t see me giving up my day job and joining a band at age 36. Hell, I don’t even see me joining a band to just play. Just like everything else in life, my lust for music is completely unfocused. I started out playing drums when I was a kid, moved on to guitar which took me forever to learn on, and in the past few years I’ve moved onto bass. I have a basic understanding of each, can muddle through a few songs on each, but mastery of any of the previous is far off. I like computers and networking and all the wonderful technologies that we have that my parents would never have dreamed of as children, but I can’t bring myself to learn enough of their inner workings to establish a career doing anything with that. I could go on and list hundreds of things that intrigue me, but the point is I don’t have a driven passion for any of them. Maybe that’s the way it is supposed to be for the masses. I don’t know. I look at my children and they both have desires to excel in certain areas they enjoy, but alas I don’t. Maybe I’ve just never taken the time to find myself. Maybe I’ve tried too hard and attempted too many things without ever getting below the surface. I just don’t know. So rather than ramble on, I think what I’m going to do is attempt to focus. Maybe if I focus on expressing myself, I will be able to look back and find a pattern, something that shows me what it is I am supposed to do. This will be my goal, and to ensure it, I will document it. My wife has always told me I should write, so I will take her advice. I will take a year to ramble, write, blog…whatever you want to call it, then look back and analyze it to see if there is something underlying that I am just too blind to see. So here I begin a new journey of discovery, feel free to follow along, add words of encouragement, ask questions, tell me how you find yourself. Day one is in the books, 364 more to come and hopefully the end is enlightening for maybe not only myself but you as a reader as well.

As a side note, most of the “year in a life” 365 days, etc. titles were taken so I am going to use hours here, 24 hours in a day, 168 hours in a week, 8760 hours in a year, hence the blog title. And since everyone likes to count down, we will start at 8760 and count down to 0. Hang on, this year could be boring.