1944

As I begin my 38th lap around the sun, I want to first thank everybody for their well wishes. I tried to acknowledge as many Happy Birthdays as I could when they were sent, but I know I missed some. It isn't because you mean less to me than any other, I was simply overrun with them yesterday. I really hope this next lap is better than the past few have been. I've done things to set myself back from where I wanted to be, but I am working on regaining my position this go 'round. I'm pretty self-deprecating in my humor, and I fear I've begun to believe some of my own press. That is my fault, and I'm correcting that. Truth be told, I've always tended to be more motivated when I lacked support, and unfortunately right now I have many people being supportive. It's an odd conundrum. Many of the best things I've ever done were simply to piss people off. Perhaps I'm just waiting for a new muse, but part of me thinks I need a better motivating tactic. I've done a lot of reflecting the past few days as I've added another number to my age, and while I'm not "rah rah" about things, I'm cautiously optimistic. Here's hoping the lap we're all on finds us all moving forward together, that we all find our muse and break free from any binding ties (unless, you know, you're into that stuff, in which case message me), and that we find optimism defeating pessimism.